NY SLIDE LX: DOGS OF LOATHING

 

      On his way from the teachers' cafeteria one morning Bilicki glanced in at the adjoining students' cafeteria and saw Quickenbush. He was pushing a garbage container on wheels between the tables, and with bare hands picking up empty cartons he found on the floor. Laughing and joking with the students, he seemed not at all uncomfortable in his role – the Chapter Chairman reporting for cafeteria duty in his 'building assignment' period.
    What on earth was he up to now? Pandering to a student constituency? Parading some new egalitarian image for everyone to notice?
    Bilicki caught his eye. Quickenbush looked away, then paused to hold a grinning exchange with two Hispanic girls. They laughed as if Mr. Quickenbush outside the classroom was really something else, a cool funny down-to-earth guy.
    Instead of walking away, convinced the man was an arch deceiver, Bilicki entered the cafeteria, his intention, to let Quickenbush know there was at least one person in the building not taken in by his shameless calculated behavior.
    "Well, well…what have we here? You plan to run in the student council elections too?"
    Quickenbush gave him a cut-off smile; then he stooped to pick up a milk carton. And it seemed in the hiatus as if Bilicki's remark, assuming it was meant to impact, had missed its target by a mile.
    "Working hard, that I am," Quickenbush said. "I'm no stranger to menial labor, Mr. Bilicki."
    "What are you really doing here?'
    "What does it look like I'm doing here?"
     Quickenbush paused, asked a student to pass empty trays for deposit in his container, then continued: "My father always told me it doesn't matter how important or how small you think you are. There's no shame, no disgrace in reaching down and picking up something that has fallen."
    With that reference to his father, the blatant fabrication about what his father always told him, Bilicki felt in the privacy of his full heart he'd found a reason to reach for Quickenbush's throat, to squeeze that throat slowly with bare hands. He noticed with satisfaction the balding spot on top of his head, which was unusual for a man only thirty years old.
   "Shouldn't you be in the hallways somehere…? Patrolling, arresting or handcuffing perps?" Bilicki asked, shifting his weight from one foot to the other.
    Quickenbush laughed, as if finally he understood Bilicki's game. Then as if to make it seem he was in no mood to play, he had work to do, he moved away pushing the container, inviting Bilicki to trail after him if he wanted to keep up his line of talk.
    And Bilicki, not prepared to trail, feeling suddenly stopped and a little foolish, glanced at his watch and swung away out of the cafeteria.
    He'd given in to an asinine impulse; he'd committed a gaffe talking that way; now he felt worse than a gaffer. He felt like a beaten bitter veteran with nothing to offer these days but beaten bitter remarks.
    It stayed with him for the rest of the day, this embarassed feeling, the subtle push back he'd suffered at the hands of Quickenbush.
    Back in his department lounge he tried marking homework assignments; he couldn't concentrate; his heart was filled with misery and loathing. For relief he let his mind play with scenarios of punishment and pain.
    A knife was too messy, bare hands too banal for Quickenbush.
    He'd like to walk into the building next Monday with six pit bulls panting and pulling on leash. He'd spot Quickenbush in the cafeteria. He'd tell the students to leave, then he'd release the dogs.
    The dogs would corner Quickenbush, biting and tearing and chomping. A bleeding Quickenbush, intestines hanging out his stomach, would scream for mercy, confess he hadn't been completely honest in his dealings, beg him to call off the dogs. Bilicki would look at his watch and walk away. He was late for a class. The dogs were well trained. When they were done with Quickenbush they knew where to find him. 
               (from "Ah Mikhail, O Fidel!", a novel by N.D.Williams, 2001)

 

 

POEMS FOR HABIT RENT (& BATH HOME FREE)

 

              Otherwise a good tenant Hamid lets bulbs burn all day
            in every room through winter. Makes no sense, I told him:
            how do you sleep? how much do you send home?
                            "Do you know in my village? there are 24 hour
                             funeral pyres for body disposal."   
                                                   Excuse me! and the shoeless
            skinny old river gods fired  ̶  they failed to ferry dead
            souls 'cross the Ganges  ̶  strike back with sewage
            garlands and immersions, but what do I know?

                                      "But who're we here? tails working
            off? like slave device?" Hadassah: to the Pizzeria
            help who swears under the Mali wrap she wears
            from Spring 'til Fall her buttocks shudder.
                                                      She rents on the 17th floor
            cleansed view of sky and peaks and domes salt slates;
            she prizes her acrylic bathtub, she strips lowers tears
            away for hours through bird calls petals prayers.
            No hands dare reach touch sponge inside
            her thighs again, and how do I know?
                  care takers hear: swollen résumés relieving  
                  fear slime wiped, stomachs rewiring. 

                                                           See, back there  ̶  no word,
            some missing arms and legs  ̶  blood let left sigh assume
            you didn't transfuse. Only the coyotes' rapture whiffs where
            last your bones sought rest: so close the Arizona fence,
                  so near the Lampedusa shore where lungs
                  scoop bailing bailing out the chest; where worn    
                  from wait! a cobra head demands you spread
                  I take, or else! life savings lost right there. 

            Free reset means light bills paid, with fist
            on heart and limbs pledged wide you can
            design abodes for borders! die or dare, take
            leopard steps to side walk vamps of rupture. 
                                                                        Being the Super,
                  these things I know; they're cyclothymed to happen.
                  You hear knee angers sudding swirling drain to schools
                  of effluence forming in the earth. And mine like metal
                  earth rare your own business. 
                                                                       -W.W.

                                      

                  

 

 

                           MAROON ON NOVEMBER ROCK 

                        With no books by which to read me now, I write
                        one, on the blank air; with a finger trace
                        the wordless mountains of memory
                        as in and out of clouds they haze,

                                erasing and rewriting

                       their peaks; and with my breath reshape
                       my book of days whose light daily still  
                       returns yet nightly longer and longer
                       stays sunk beneath this indifferent swelling sea.
                   
                       (from "Scratches On Air" by Brian Chan) 

        

NY SLIDE LIX: THE QUICKENBUSH WAY

 

    Perhaps realizing his newcomer status would not immediately win him friends in all quarters, Phil Quickenbush set about racking up support. He introduced a newsletter for staffers. It appeared in teachers' boxes on Friday afternoon, printed on orange bond paper. Teachers getting ready to punch out and leave the Bronx for the weekend were accosted by rows of flaming leaflets in their boxes. They pulled them out, they walked away reading, sometimes pausing in mid-stride to absorb some piece of alarming news.
   Headlined "From The Desk Of The Chapter Leader", the newsletter began, Dear Fellow Staff Members, then after presenting innocuous union news it tore off in a direction that even the cantankerous Steve Kite could not have dreamed up:

       The list of reported incidents occurring in and around John Wayne Cotter
        H.S. is as follows:
            Monday, November 15:
            English Teacher receives puncture wound from unknown assailant
            while passing between homeroom and Period 3.
            Tuesday, November 16:
            Car belonging to Business Teacher is stolen.
            (13th attempt, 1st success)
            Wednesday, November 17:
            2 students wounded by knife-wielding students. Students who
            threatened Math teacher (see last week's newsletter) again
            stalks the teacher.
            Thursday, November 19:
            4 students given Desk summonses for setting fire to mailbox
            at the corner of the school.
            Friday, November 19:
            School Aide and Security guard wounded during melee in Student
            Cafe. Six students arrested as a result of the melee.
      A warning to Administrators: Issac Newton, in his Third Law of Motion, stated
      that whenever one body exerts a force, the second always exerts on the first
      a force which is equal in magnitude, opposite in direction, and has the same
      line of action. (University Physics, 5th Edition)

   For Bilicki this was really too much. "Typical right-wing, scaremongering tactics," he
whispered harshly whenever he came across someone diligently reading the newsletter. "Does anyone know what he plans to do about all this?"
    No one knew. Everyone seemed too alarmed to ask.
    Many confessed they were astonished to learn what was going on. Hitherto, teachers who worked, say, in the east wing of the building had no way of knowing that incidents "like this" happened in the west wing – or in the basement, or outside the building – so regulated were their movements, so fearfully constricted their habits.
    Bilicki was among the few stubbornly unimpressed. This was nothing but crass, vile politicking. A piece of fraudulence. The man describes a situation in colors of terror and despair, then he offers, not solutions, but himself as savior. A scam as plain as daylight.
    "But, Brendan, you can't argue with the facts, les petits faits vrais," Mrs. Rojas (Foreign Languages) said to him pleasantly. "These terrible things are happening. Maybe not in your neck of the woods. But that doesn't make it less frightening."
    Quickenbush was seen, next, consulting with the principal, stepping into the office of the principal. He offered proposals to the principal. At faculty meetings the principal made a point of thanking Mr. Quickenbush for providing useful information. She promised to work closely with Quickenbush and the Union to find solutions to the problems at John Wayne Cotter H.S. She praised the staff for their professionalism "in the line of fire".
    "These guys," Bilicki shook his head. "What a piece of Japanese theatre."
  (from "Ah Mikhail, O Fidel!" a novel by N.D.Williams, 2001)

 

 


NY SLIDE LVIII: ENTER THE DRAGON

 

   The next problem was to find a temporary replacement for Steve Kite. A candidate was quick to step forward – from the shadows, as it were – in the person of Phil Quickenbush. Little was known about him except what he was only too willing to reveal: he'd recently returned from Japan after a two-year teaching stint in a Japanese high school; he was working on a book based on his experiences there; he was currently assigned to the Business department, and in his opinion Steve Kite had been "railroaded". He was quite willing to take over Steve's responsibilities, and when the time came he would consider running for Steve's office.
    Most people were too distracted to question his credentials. One or two veterans viewed him with suspicion (what had he done to merit selection for that teaching post in Japan?) But since no one else was prepared to fill the breach, it seemed a harmless move to let him take over.
    Only Bilicki was alarmed. Phil Who? Just the look of the man – smooth-shaven, dressed for Wall Street, you would think, in white shirt and tie; the rimless glasses, the way he hovered in the teachers' cafeteria, hands in pocket, listening in on conversations; and when he did say something it was usually to highlight some "illogical" assertion, or make a correction, bolstered with facts and statistics; all of which put a damper on the anecdotal excitement teachers  preferred while they ate lunch. Who did he think he was? Where did he think he was?
     He loved working at at John Wayne Cotter H.S., he told everyone, but the situation in the hallways, you had to admit, was fast approaching anarchy. There should be police officers stationed in the building with powers of arrest. It was the only way to take back our classrooms from the hallway hoodlums. The public school system was moving away from the core values that made America strong, that offered strong leadership to the world. He ought to know; he'd just come back from Japan; the Japanese were moving miles and miles ahead of us.
    Bit by bit an already inflamed Bilicki became infuriated. He felt tempted to break his self-imposed silence, to expose this upstart, this clever windbag, with his soft rounded shoulders, and his neat appearance, as if neatness and business methods were all a school needed to save itself. Just back from a high school gig in Japan, now here at a troubled school in the Bronx - where would he go next?
    To raise these questions Bilicki risked giving the impression that, twice beaten and rejected as a candidate, he had turned into a bitter, boorish man, stooping now to character denigration.
        (from "Ah Mikhail O Fidel!", a novel by N.D.Williams, 2001)

 

 


REAL QUICK TRAFFIC REPORTS (& OTHER SIGNALS)

 

 

                  LAST LICKS BEFORE EXIT  


              Old folk will tell you the sound of death
              approaching, as gunmen traffic up yours, is like
              potow pow-pow on our island; while elsewhere boosh
              you hear as death's pointy face, next up
              & piqued, leaves a hot then warm bed chamber.

              According to my source gun down you don't
              that way; straight up I'm saying: when death moves in,
              usually unalloyed, no Aloha you hear, no Jehovah
              vending door smile; though just before the decresend

              souls standing (fates in waiting?) in white
              light; your life so far exploding stars blowing
              by in meteor swoosh or keynotes flashing –

              the au revoiree falls, or staggers clutching, climbing. Now
              by chance if near the exit ramp you en passant
              are willing to lend assistance, be prepared 
              to listen for time up syllables red spread refusing,
              like mama mia, mai; or moeder, muddafucker

              still breathing? then make a cradle of one arm
              while with free fingers 112 speed dial ("Stay
              with me", till you find out mainframe's unplugged);
              and thank your Krishna the Lord for cellphones,
              there you go, there. you. go.

                  Meanwhile moments of silence
                  give even bell strokes
                  pause: crescent tumor flood bitches sons –
                  what train we didn't hear coming?

                                                                   -W.W.

 

 

             
     


 
  

 

 

               
                              BUSINESS AS USUAL   


                        In night's grave beyond my floor
                        one more motor throbs like Poe's
                        heart, a gaping door's
                        slammed shut
                        and another ghost moves on
                        to his latest rock of smoke. 

                        I who know no rest must feel
                        such stabs of proof that other
                        hearts will refuse to stay put
                        as edged mirrors of my own
                        pursuit of nothing but breath

                        so that when some other knife
                        of night splits my heart enough
                        to make this dream of blood burst,
                        I will have been well rehearsed
                        in both leaving and never.

                       (from "Fabula Rasa" by Brian Chan)

NY SLIDE LVII: FALL OUT

 

   Admirers and detractors of Steve Kite could not allow his removal to pass without comment.
  "They're right to remove him. That kind of remark is unprofessional. You don't go around telling kids they smell, I don't care who you are. That kind of behavior is unacceptable," said Mrs. Haliburton, known for her heavenly high perfumes.
   "He didn't say that. It never happened. These kids make things up about teachers all the time. This is ridiculous…you mean, what he's alleged to have said… really ridiculous, what's going on," said Peggy Marmalad (Special Education), known for her tight-fitting clothes.
   "Well I don't know what all the fuss is about. Most of these kids get out of bed, jump into clothes and come to school. I mean, it's cold in the morning. Of course, they're going to smell a little…bedsweaty…I mean, what's the big deal about somebody's morning B.O.?" Tameka Brisbane (Student Council)
   "Let me tell you, this whole thing is being orchestrated by certain individuals in this school who are always ready to play the race card, you know what I mean? It's always the white teachers who are insensitive and racist, always the black students who are the victims." Jim Lightbody, to the carpool, too tired to respond that day, and quite willing to let him speak his mind.
   Brendan Bilicki made no comment. It was noticed that he kept himself apart from the gossip and speculation clusters. Like a cat curled up in a corner licking its fur, he was content to sit in the department lounge, his head buried in The Times. Approached one day in the library by the librarian and asked what he thought of the whole thing, he heaved a faintly triumphant sigh. "It's a case of the chickens come home to roost," he said, rustling his pages. He was prepared to leave it at that.
              (from "Ah Mikhail, O Fidel!", a novel by N.D.Williams, 2001)

 

 

NY SLIDE LVI: RISE AND FALL

 

     Steve Kite was re-elected as Chapter Chair but this time around his term of office was shortlived. His trademark loose way with words got him into trouble with students, and Bilicki watched his demise with tightlipped satisfaction, his heart cheering wildly as the guillotine started its fall.
   The story, as told in a student complaint, was that Steve Kite had grievously insulted them; had insulted two students to be precise, then with a wave of his hand had corralled the entire class into the insult.
   Allegedly he accused the students of coming to class unwashed and smelling to high heaven. "Why don't you people simply have a bath when you get up in the morning?" The words "you people" linked with the implications of smell, and tossed off in a fit of 1st period irritability, raised howls of classroom laughter; but the words got back to some parents sending them into howls of outrage.
   What's this teacher's name? The fuck he think he is?
   A delegation of parents, mainly angry mothers, charging racism, came in to see the principal the very next day. They threatened to picket the school. They milled around in the lobby, arguing with the security guards; and refusing to leave the building until they'd received an apology from the offending teacher. Mrs. Haliburton appeared and managed to restore calm in the lobby. The principal came out and invited the group into his office.
   A stunned Steve Kite, unused to backpedaling, could only throw his hands up in dismay. He tried to put a blase face on the matter, carrying on as if nothing would come of it. Stopped in the hallway and asked what it was all about, his stock response was, "A piece of crock." People had blown things entirely out of proportion, he insisted. Of course, he wasn't going to apologize, there was nothing to apologize for.
   The days passed, it seemed nothing would come of it. Steve Kite conducted classes, though the offended students stayed away.
   Then one day he was gone. Word came back that the matter was being "investigated". In the meantime rules of procedure required his "removal" from the classroom.
       (from "Ah Mikhail, O Fidel!", a novel by N.D.Williams, 2001)

POEMS FOR SHORT OF BREATH (& CURVED THE BLADE)

 

                
         Got one virgin banana fo' you, gyal, the taxi 
         driver through road grind heat tried, braking
         for a straggle of cows sun stroked reneging; a cigarette
         like fare scout behind his right ear. Thighs chafe.

         He come home last night late; not one word; gone
         out again, her mardi gras cleavage cried; wetting
         the plants in her nightie, the shaggy dog on the patio
         panting paying she no mind. Sinus caverns next.

         In Japan Ministers does bow & resign for cracking
         bad jokes, which reminds me – Lexi, schedule
         a press briefing; and where the whip? I go show
         these mokos who they playing with here. Jumbie rider.

         House hush up, he does want to kneel over my face
         with it, belly like pumpkin blooming, finger grip
         for hand cuff. I does turn mih head. And vex so if
         curry shrimp and choka not ready. stuffing in. you wait.

         I don't want to sound political in terms of
         statistics per se power pointing the authenticity of
         narco white whale identifiers – yes, pass by me nah - Wahab,
         the Lighthouse man – coast guardian of the nation.

         For Lexi a towel wrap round like sarong after bath up
         dates her heritage East; plus flights to Japan for banker
         boyfriend noodle slurping dragon breath ocean tonnage high rise.
         In working order, her parachute; inside the zaboca, her home.

         After noon high blue on our island – like from 3 to 6? – the long
         way home from schoolhouse, impulse and restraint;
         that bad mind in khaki, eyes following we – ay aay
         aaay! – stop phone and listen: hell's cross road sweet vendors.
                                                                              – W.W.

 

 

                


 
 


 

                VERSE LYRIC

                Sometimes, it's possible, all of it, to feel
                one has actually lived, has actually had
                a life, has – even as it's slipping away
                into the cracks of other lives, other worlds
                as they are slipping down the throat of one's own

                Sometimes I don't even have to talk like that,
                don't have to think, can simply lean at the top
                of invisible stairs in a house of sleep
                and entertain my bloodstream and my breath and
                the routine stabs and groans off the wall of time

                Sometimes I can kiss your mouth and that's enough
                or enough the wanting only, the waiting
                for desire to take its own sweet shape without
                our having to manipulate a moment
                into some puffy proof of our rock of love

                Sometimes as now when there is nothing to say
                I can open my mouth or a book and sing
                or read my life of love, no less, in the most
                artificial lyrics of liars long dead
                and such magic outlives a million amens
           
                          (from "Scratches On Air" by Brian Chan) 

 


 

NY SLIDE LV: CAMPAIGN TACTICS

 

      This second time around Bilicki's campaign approach was more subtle, less charged with extraneous incident and cries of "corruption". He left leaflets in teachers' mailboxes asking voters to consider the "new direction" he would take the Union – out into the community. He would heal the breach between the out-of-borough teaching staff and the community they served. He included words like "integrity" and "accountability" and he made character a small but important issue. Stouthearted, he made no secret of his determination to win.
   For his part Steve Kite gave his challenger the polite brush-off. As he quipped to colleagues, sounding like a Senator from Arizona, "My record will speak for itself."
   Apparently it did. Teachers felt comfortable with Steve. They had dealt with him all these years. He was there when they needed the Union, and there when they didn't need the Union.
   Mr. Ghansam, for instance, was unequivocal in his praise for Steve Kite. It was Steve who stood by him, who fought for him when he received the first "Unsatisfactory" rating from his supervisor. Steve explained the grievance procedure and after he'd raised the matter with the assistant principal, Ghansam's rating – he suspected it had something to do with his accent and his resident alien status – improved to "Marginally Satisfactory". "Now I have no problem. Now all my ratings…Satisfactory…Satisfactory…Satisfactory."
   In dealing with the supervisors Steve Kite came across as a scrappy fighter. He was a short man with a preference for suspenders and bowties, who combed his hair with a part to the right; his mottled face looked as if his wife had scratched and punched him too often (this was the joke exchanged with the secretaries who gave him fond, puzzled smiles). His piercing voice, his deliberate clear phrasing, rang out at meetings in the auditorium like steel striking stone, serving notice to the administration that he was monitoring their every move.
   Bilicki on the other hand was considered an idealist, a man stuck in 1960s rebelliousness. A good listener, mind you, and a fairly decent fellow at heart, but you couldn't hear him sharpening knives to do battle for teachers.
   What really endeared Steve Kite to his supporters was the tone of offensiveness in his  conversation. He said things that, from the mouth of anyone else, might have sounded obnoxious. He had nicknames for some supervisors – " that old fossil", "fucking Nazi",  "horse-faced bitch" – and he offered crude opinions about their personal lives that left everyone mildly horrified, yet relieved someone had the nerve to speak that way about the bosses.
          (from "Ah Mikhail. O Fidel!", a novel by N.D.Williams, 2001)


NY SLIDE LIV: BILICKI RUNS AGAIN

 

     When word swept around the building that Brendan Bilicki was thinking of making a second run for the Chapter Chair position the overwhelming response was, first, to gasp or snigger; then to wonder, what was wrong with him? Hadn't he learnt anything from the first attempt?
  After all when you stopped to think about it, working at John Wayne Cotter H.S. was everyone's mortgage-paying job. For some, the younger ones just starting out, teaching still had something to do with always wanting to be a teacher. A few had drifted into the profession like vessels with broken rudders; but as the years went by many invariably found other compensatory activities, second jobs – as adjunct college faculty, or running a little business. A little moonlighting after school hours, everyone understood, helped pay the bills, with enough left for a car upgrade or a European summer vacation.
  So what was it with Bilicki? He'd achieved the dubious honor of veteran teacher. He should be looking forward to getting out of the system, to happy retirement.
  Mrs. Haliburton had her own theory. As she explained to Noreen, once you've put in as many years as Bilicki had, retirement begins to look like a form of death. It came to you bearing an envelope with details of your pension rights; it offered quick dispatch to nonentity land.
  New York teachers were only human. They, too, wanted to be remembered, to leave a mark somewhere, the way the kids carved their names on the old school desk. "This company doesn't send you off with a gold watch," Mrs. Haliburton observed, and she and Noreen had a good laugh over that.
  Still, after losing the first time he ran for office Bilicki was expected to fade back into the woodwork; continue his shenanigans if he had to, but leave the Union business in the capable hands of the incumbent, Steve Kite, who had held the post for many years.
         (from "Ah Mikhail, O Fidel!" a novel by N.D.Williams, 2001)