NY SLIDE XXXI: NEW RECRUITS

 

 

            Back outside the payroll secretary's office – now crowded with teachers scurrying
      about or holding one-on-one conversations – Radix discovered two more new recruits,
      two women, arms folded, faces sullen. They had chosen not to wander around; they sat
      with their feet tucked in so as not to be in the way of teachers already appointed and
      with things to do.
            They saw Radix who looked adrift and miserable, and they concluded correctly that
      he was one of them; sent by the Board, ignored by everyone around, awaiting someone's
      approbation.  The older woman lit up a cigarette and shook her head sadly, indignantly.
      Radix informed them he too had been told to wait.
          "I'm a transfer," the older woman said. "You'd think they'd have my name on some
      separate transfer list. I don't understand why I'm being treated this way." 
          The other woman, about twenty five, her hair cut short, her blue eyes at that moment
      bright but confused said, "It's been like this since I applied…terrible!…The Board treats
     you like shit…I get here, and that secretary lady, that little horse face…bitch…in there..
     treats me this way."
            The older one, speaking like a veteran of many encounters with principals and payroll
       secretaries, whispered harshly, "I'll tell you what's going on here. They don't like new
       people…they just…don't…like…new people coming in."
           "I didn't ask them to send me here," the young one pleaded. "I wanted a school in Man-
       hattan. I live in Manhattan. Instead they send me all the way out here."
           The older one gripped and pulled hard on her cigarette. The skin on her wrist was
       mottled the veins green and bulging. Her face looked tired, ravaged; but her body was
       trim and shapely. Sometimes unconsciously she smoothed her stomach and let her hands
       slide up and down her thighs.
           Radix stood nearby and listened, holding himself apart; not yet ready to enter what
       seemed an outpouring of justifiable anger.
           As it turned out the younger woman was sent back to the Board. The older woman
       was asked to stay on. Her name was Mrs. Turkles. Radix would hear that name on the
       school's address system being told, with some irritation in the speaker's voice, to report
       to her class.
           They met infrequently, but whenever she saw him in the hallway she'd buttonhole
       him, forgetting for the moment where she was going; and with a stricken face she'd
      explain what a miserable time she was having at the school.
           She'd stand looking up in his face, blocking out hallway clamour. Her new boss, she
       told him, leaning forward, bringing her lips close to his ear, was an egregious asshole;
      he showed no respect for the years she'd put into the system. One day she pulled him
      aside by the arm and said, "Look at me! What am I doing here? I have no life." Then she
     dragged herself away, looking back over her shoulder at him.
                                            (from "Ah Mikhail, O Fidel!" a novel by N.D.Williams, 2001)
       

NY SLIDE XXX: REPORTING FOR DUTY

          Until he found the side entrance through which he'd exit Radix was not prepared for a
      structure that occupied almost an entire block. He drove around its perimeter looking for a
      parking spot, thinking naively there must be space to park somewhere near the building. He
      had to park two blocks away then walk back, around the black iron railings, until he found
      the front entrance.
           He was struck by the austere towering architecture of the school. It looked like a fortress,
     solid, sprawling, built to withstand centuries of seasonal and student depredations; like some
     quaint structure out of Europe dedicated to the pursuit of ecclesiastical studies. He imagined a
     Latin-teaching instructor standing at the front entrance in 1935, the year the school was
     constructed, ushering students inside and admonishing everyone to be quiet.
         But there was the American flag hanging on the silver flagpole; and on the door, graffiti
    loops and squiggles, as if some crew of angry locals had struck the night before.
         He'd been told to report to the school's payroll secretary. She greeted him with narrow
    squinty eyes, her mouth half-open in surprise and suspicion, as if she was also the armed
    guard of the teachers' payroll.
        She told him she didn't think there was a position for him at John Wayne Cotter H.S. She
    averted her eyes, her fingers shuffled the paperwork on her desk; and with fast dwindling
    patience she said, yes, she understood the Board of Education had sent him here; and, yes,
    his paperwork seemed in order; but things were kind of hectic at the moment; he'd just have
    to wait until she got it all sorted out.
        Radix left her tiny office and wandered around on the first floor. He peered into empty
    classrooms; he wondered what the faded words PHYSICS RECITATION on one door meant.
    There were desks in orderly rows screwed onto the floor, and the blackboards had a washed
    surface gleam he would never again see once classes started.
        He came across a display board of alumni, dating back to the 1950s, with names like Tatle
    and Leibowitz, Burghardt and Terpening, all winners of awards for "Good Citizenship" and
    "Superior Scholarship". Some time in the 1980s they'd stopped inscribing names.  A Jasmine
    Maldonado and a Baljit Singh came through and won awards in 1986.
               (from "Ah Mikhail, O Fidel!", a novel by N.D.Williams, 2001)
   


POEMS FOR NATION HORSES (SHOW & WORK)

 

                                                                            "In paradise all clocks refuse to chime
                                                                    for fear they might, in striking, disturb the peace
." 
                                                                                      – Joseph Brodsky, "Lullaby of Cape Cod"

 

 

                       
                   Not yet a nation, worried what other nations might think,
                   we send show horses off to the world, our more or less
                   refined. One stand out steed, tasseled & pimp referenced
                   for you're Ok awards (a player who tenantlike knows them, look
                   how he bouncing with pedigree!) through shires, rows of trees
                   will bear the standard: our forked up best from bush lots of aspire. So,

                   you guys, harnessed at home, lucky if working,
                   best stop complaining; some day the wild coast fevers, wounds
                   stitched up for now, will squish death creeping. Don't sweat
                   our stadium amps & champs; and, look, kites commissioned for the sky!
                   They do declare our borders, shores (the sluices open wide)
                   can handle business runnings (private vice on the side.)

                   Our cropped over State's from Empire…godfactors…the numbers
                   to rule and so forth…What?
                   for a breaking volcano? an island beach? swop our waterfalls?
                   …surely you joke. Seal off
                   the cynics, sphincters for weary elitist viral lies. Like the forest
                   green we screen playactors by appointment and party ties. 

                   (Yo! terraqueous furies, our nemesis; cart wheels of progress, the field.
                   The game's for left right bipeds in dressage and dray. Ph.drivers wanted.)

                   You watch, the stream of faithless, pipered rats en route to rivers
                   will make a U turn, haul deliverance through Arrival days.
                   Till then, home rules apply:
                                                            cheek by bowl, vices hide;
                                                              ground fast looming, pull up, tribe!
                   (Yo, comrade! want not what you need not.
                   The force is not with you. Abide.)                         
                                                                                           -W.W.

 

                       NOTIONS FOR A NATION

                       A space other than the room we
                       are sitting in, talking about the
                       Other we will never be but are.

                       A club we are dying to join
                       for which we must produce credentials
                       impossible by our own standards.

                       A Promise whose spirit of Real
                       Estate keeps trickling out our fingers
                       to wrap itself round our hands and feet.

                       A land stolen from other tribes
                       we give some back to so they'll have no
                       excuse for not cleaning up their act…

                       ……………………………………..
                        (from "Fabula Rasa" by Brian Chan)



NY SLIDE XXIX: SONOFABITCH RAMOS

            Brebnor told them one day he'd found his car radio antenna had been snapped. He'd
        replaced it only to  find it bent and twisted into a bit of artwork. He'd straightened it
        out, but the next day the would-be artist/vandal struck again.
           "What makes you suspect Ramos?"
           "I know he's the culprit. He's got a guilty smirk on his face, like he knows something."
           "Where do you park now?" Lightbody asked.
           "Right across the street…on the west side of the building?…on Myrtle Avenue."
            Lightbody said, "You know, this kid, he comes up to me one day, and he says to me,
        What do I have to do to pass this class? So I look at him and I say, You know what you
        can do? I'll tell you what you can do…You know where my car is parked?…since you're
        no longer interested in Earth Science, why don't you wash and wax my car…every day
        …You do that, I guarantee you'll pass my class
."
           Ghamsam was the first to laugh. "Did you really tell him that?"
           "C'mon, Ghansam, of course I didn't tell him that. Do you think I'd strike a deal with a
        thug like Ramos? I said to him, Mr. Ramos, so far you've done everything in your power
        fail this class. I would suggest you don't make any travel plans for the summer
."
           Brebnor looked away, impressed with Lightbody's firm handling of Ramos, but
        churning inside with leashed fury.
            "Where do you park?" he asked Lightbody.
            "The Mobil gas station?…It's about two blocks away. I pay the guy couple o' bucks to
        keep an eye on it. I walk the couple o' blocks. Good exercise. I think it's worth the
        money. I don't have to worry about some vandal slashing my tires."
            Brebnor groaned and decided not to ask if he could park there too.
           This Fall term he was lucky to be assigned classrooms on the west side of the building.
        That way he could keep an eye on his car parked across the road on Myrtle Avenue. It
       
meant being on his feet most of the time, walking to the window as he talked, and
        throwing quick glances outside from the third floor. If in the middle of the lesson his
        glance told him something was happening, or had happened, to his car while his back was   
       
turned, he didn't know what the fuck he'd do.
                              (from "Ah, Mikhail, O Fidel! a novel by N.D.Williams, 2001)

    
          

NY SLIDE XXVIII: JOLLY GOODFELLAS


        "Anyone teach Ramos?" Mr. Brebnor asked the carpool one afternoon.
        "Which Ramos?" said Meier, "I"ve got a female Ramos… Felicia Ramos?"
        "Listen to this," Lightbody interrupted, "On my period 3 class list I've got a Smalls and a   
     Large…can you believe that?…Smalls and Large…though the kid keeps telling me it's  
     pronounced Lar-jaaay."
        "No, this is Miguel Ramos I'm talking about," Brebnor said, ignoring Lightbody.
        "Miguel Ramos? I've got that sonofabitch," Lightbody continued. "Does he do any work  
      for you?"
        "Nothing…absolutely nothing…strolls in late every afternoon…his pants sagging…"
        "He's the kid with the girlfriend who's got his name tattooed on her left breast,"    
      Lightbody said.
        "How the hell do you know that?"
        "It's there, I saw it. One day, must have been the day after she got it done, she was
      walking around exposing herself to the entire class… showing everybody his name…
      Miguel…left breast, centimeters away from the areola."
         "Listen to this guy! Sneaking a peak at student areolas."
         "You'd better be careful," Ghansam wagged his finger. "One of these days someone
       will accuse you of statutory rape or something."
        Meier stared straight ahead, not sure if Lightbody was making the whole thing up;
      and  Brebnor, fearing there would be no appetite left for his story, said:  "Well, that
      sonofabitch Ramos has been interfering with my car." That got everyone's attention.
                                            (from "Ah Mikhail, O Fidel!", a novel by N.D.Williams, 2001)

                   


 


RIVERS MATING UP YOUR STAIRS

                                                                                      "You rock so, you rock so…
                                                                                        You come so, you come so…"
                                                                              
              – Bob Marley, "Lively Up Yourself"

 

              First time, before Sparrow's kaiso jams in the 70s,
               Jagger's pelvic rocks in the 80s, the sexual
                revolution spoke: near Hosororo: an Amerindian
                 maiden standing at water's edge, arms folded as if
                  waiting for traffic lights to change in a city of chrome rush, domes:

              across the river a young man, thin blade sharp; from Georgetown
                with its movies, bicycles, radio songs; fabled differences
                  now so near. Besides, not much to do: look after brothers
                    household chores, and mother grocery shopping in canoe;
                      saronged in tree leaves body urging, Come! 

              No ferry, paddle, choice but strip to briefs, go
                test my diving chops – the river half a street block wide,
                 suppose I drowned!
– arm over arm, runneling cross tide
                  and deep. Her calves & knees flashed, Hurry! not much time;
                   camoudi-like her mother from upriver might slip home.

              And that was it: ashore, half naked; assurance, longings bared.
              Sorry, no sweet man up details for you. Bet you're curious
              how we did it in the hammock;
              how I ignored forest muttering; stretched, released my new bowstring.

              Alone I had to swim back to the first far side,
              not the streaking eel this time, scared stranger again;
              only laced shoes, clothes folded on the river bank
              as evidence, had I not returned, I was there. For sure
              as tiaras from heaven she'd never tell; she'd swear
              she never saw that floating river swollen body before.

              In cities of seasons, stony trails to gold, women have been inlets
              streaming since, mate. Hand upon heart, I hail amazon waves.
                                                                                                   -W.W.  

            

                        A MOMENT

                                            is a blank ice
                        rink waiting either to be
                        skated over or to melt.

                        Afraid of what these blades might
                        groove blind beyond erasure,
                        I remain at ice's edge

                        till you emerge like a deer
                        out of a forest of black
                        to startle me with the light

                        of your eyes and the caress
                        of the song of your silence,
                        promise of water somewhere

                        flowing and flowing and flowing.

                    (from "Gift of Screws" by Brian Chan)

 

XXVII: CROSSING GUARDS

        At first there was a white crossing guard, a bespectacled woman in her sixties. She was
    quietly efficient, unsmiling; stopping traffic with one gloved hand, waving the kids forward 
    with the other; always businesslike and correct. She just assumed everyone would be law-
    abiding at the sight of children at a zebra crossing.
       Suddenly one morning she was gone, and in her place, a black crossing guard – younger, 
    brisk, her blue pants tight around her bottom. And her manner was decidedly different.
       She had a police officer's notepad stuck in the hip pocket of her blue trousers, conspicuous 
   and ready to be whipped out; and a ballpoint in her white gloves. She glared after motorists  
   who sped through green lights, as if speed by definition was inconceivable at her intersection.
   She was as concerned about the safety of her young charges as the white crossing guard, but 
   she brought something else to the job…community spirit.
       She waved to bus drivers she recognized when they drove by; she waved and exchanged
   words and laughter with young women hurrying to work; she had motivating words for kids
   walking too slowly, who might be laggard in the classroom. She apparently knew some of the
   accompanying mothers, and sometimes got so distracted, so absorbed in a story or news, she
   forgot about traffic at the zebra crossing.
       A car speeding through the intersection would summon her back to duty; she'd step back
   out on the roadway, squint and stare hard after the car, trying to catch the plate number.
                             (from "Ah, Mikhail, O Fidel!", a novel by N.D.Williams, 2001)

 

        

                

XXVI: JUDY WEINER

    

    She'd sit in her car, the windows rolled up, waiting for the lights to change; and she'd stare 
out as the Bronx streets seethed around her. The October wind sent litter swirling up on her
windshield. Sometimes subway cars rumbled overhead and the whole earth shook. She'd grip the
wheel as a delightful formless thrill passed down to the pouch of her stomach.
    The students she taught lived around here; she recognized the street names on their attendance cards. She'd never once seen any of them walking by, but her head was heavy with agitation: this was where they lived, where they disappeared to at the end of the day, into
these blocks of cross streets with their congested sidewalks and double-parked cars; the aimless wandering and defiance of authority; stop signs, fire boxes, mail boxes smeared with wiggly graffiti; too many heavy-thighed women; too many children clutching junk food wrappers; the young men hanging about or swaggering off with that carefree rolling gait.
    And yet it could be a decent livable place if only they'd get a grip on things, clean up the grime of drugs, get those guns out of criminal hands; get those kids, her kids, back in classrooms.
    Her grandfather grew up in a rough, slummy neighborhood like this. He was a striver, a man of
grit and boundless optimism. You had to believe things would change if you wanted them to change.
    She
sat stiffly and close to the steering wheel, a little smile on her pale face, the open friendly smile of a stranger passing through.
    After what seemed like interminable minutes the cars ahead of  her started moving; she knew she'd be late clocking in; she didn't see the sense in worrying about it. She drove a late model Japanese car. It was difficult every month making the car payments, but she considered it a sound investment. No chance she'd break down anywhere in the Bronx. 
                  (from "Ah, Mikhail, O Fidel!" a novel by N.D.Williams, 2001)

 

POEMS FOR JOY IN MERRIMAN (& BICYCLE DAYS)

 

  

                                                                                                         ..memories…like fallen apples…lose
                                                                                                            their sweetness at the bruise
                                                                                                            and then decay.
                                                                                                                   
– Philip Larkin, "The North Ship"


                         
                                                                    Gone from
                           her desk where news reports claim she collapsed
                           one morning, missing clues to really what
                           happened? some stealthy lesioned illness
                           on gurney to pharmacy? not hospital ward 
                                                                                           and get well
                                   cards so faraway we didn't have to worry, e-wonder
                                   how she's doing day to day, tear up on visits;
                                   sparing us that drawn out, draining fear – just braps!
                                   announcing: heart or lungs have stopped

                           
                                                      (the other
news
                           lets you carry on imagining she'd simply paused
                           out of breath, as on a country hike, say on the trail
                           to Kaieteur or heaven's caves, gasping
 Go on,
                           I'll catch up!)
so, stunned, you

                                                                                   grab a death
                                   tie and start back to Georgetown bicycle days
                                   (the talent! desire kept under, futures waving!)
                                   leaving touch slides mobile holds and apps;
                                   leaving NY showers flowers sunbursts on the way;

                                                                 back paddle over sea
                           lanes combed & cached in her lighthouse lamps;
                           for, looking out, she always asked for Horton
                           Kayume, Seelo – names like faces altered
                           through marriage and migration; loves sewn
                           close to her school heart as we scattered for careers.

                       Well, so much
                       for bonds of youth preset to expire; passovers to
                       new times of "Who?  Who cares?"
                       new loyalties forged with lead dog, head scarf, fear; brand
                       preferences, now tattoos, now same sex;
                       now the days are over.

                       Look out, old friends,
                       for notices in newspapers, someone halting
                       bicycle joys on streets of your youth; that lone faith keeper
                       still there; ambassador at post through a breezy despair.
                       And check the letter columns.

                       With luck
                       a fellow worker, close pall bearer, will swear
      &
#0160;                such constant goodness never comes back. Not a whiff, though,
                       from a city stink with drains clogged leaves of stricken spreadsheet sores;
                       villages stuck in rigor mortise (dwarfed homes on Victoria's stilts)
                       and the mounds of wilderness you pass to Joy's burial place.   
                                                                                                              -W.W.

  
                            

 
 
 
 
                          SPEECHLESS
 
                          I love the lovely idea
                          she lives of herself; she is
                          balance embodied, that's all:
                          there's no more to be said.
                                           (from "Gift of Screws" by Brian Chan) 
 
                                            In Memoriam Joy Merriman-Duncan 
 
                      
 

 

  
  

NY SLIDE XXIV: OFF THE HIGHWAY, THE FLOW IS GONE

            Whatever the route taken, all highways and expressways eventually give way to the 
             local streets in the Bronx. Even Mrs. Helmsclaw (English) who had been teaching for
            seventeen years confessed to twinges of anxiety once she came off the highway. The
            streets assumed the strangeness of foreign territory. "I know it's irrational. I've
            travelled these streets for years. I still get a little nervous coming in."
                Pressed to explain what she meant she talked about the narrowing of access; the flow
            was gone; in its place, a sense of life at the mercy of forces beyond her control. On the
            other hand, going home began with an almost desparat dash, a straight line of unstop-
            pable intent to the exit road; then you accelerated with relief onto the highway, free to
            chose your lane, your speed. "You know what it is…? It's like coming into any community
            for the first time…fear of the unknown, is what it is." 
                Coming from a different direction, Judy Weiner would have agreed. She came all the 
            way from Yonkers and she took the Bronx River Parkway. She was almost always late,
            but was spared any embarassment since she worked in the Special Education department
            and had to have a teacher's aide with her in the room. The aide, Mrs. Contreras, was 
            always punctual and covered for her; she got the students on task and kept them         
            occupied until Judy Weiner showed up, all flustered and weighed down with books, bags
            and an air of having survived a tumultuous journey.
               "I'm sorry, I got held up," she'd say, peeling off her coat. "Everything was moving so
            slowly…I couldn't find anywhere to park. I dropped my keys in the snow. I thought I'd
            never find them…I was beginning to wonder how I'd get home…O my God, it's hot and
            stuffy in this room."
                                              (from "Ah Mikhail, O Fidel!" a novel by N.D.Williams,2001)