Faculty conferences were scheduled for the first Monday of the month. The
problem was few teachers remembered this. Few teachers even bothered to
make some sort of diary entry about it. Not many could see past Friday night as
they left the building for the start of the weekend. As Lightbody explained,
when you get up the following Monday all your thoughts funnel toward getting
your body out of the house into the cold car; then once you get there, cranking
the mind into good working shape before you entered the school.
"And then, at the end of the day," he pointed out, "with the kids outside the
building, you sit there hoping and praying they don't decide to get your car,
because they know we're all inside at the meeting."
There was usually a note from Bob Darling (A.P. Admin) over the time clock
reminding everyone of the faculty conference. A fly with elephant ears on the
wall over the time clock could count a hundred muttered expressions of Fuck!
Fuck! ̶ gender of the teacher notwithstanding ̶ when the note was read. And
the receptionist in the main office was badgered all day for outside lines so that
teachers could make calls rescheduling an appointment, or arranging for a
pickup from kindergarten.
Bob Darling conducted proceedings. Teachers liked dealing with Bob Darling.
The rule of thumb was, See Bob first, before the matter got out of hand. Woe
to anyone if the matter did get out of hand and came to the attention of
Principal Wamp, who, when she got up to speak at faculty meetings, flashing
her unbelievably perfect, well-cared for teeth, raised a pall of suppressed
hatred in the room.
Usually Principal Wamp opened with stern remarks and reminders; then she
passed the microphone over to Bob. He tried hard to accommodate everyone.
"I know you've all had a long day and you're tired and you want to get home."
Meetings went quickly because Bob's manner was terse and precise, sticking to
the agenda, moving things along.
"Bob, what I want to know is, why must we have so many fire drills?" This was
Hannah Jobity who made everyone uncomfortable with her remarks. Once
something was said that sounded contentious Hannah would raise her hand and
keep it raised until Bob acknowledged her.
"Hannah, if we don't hold these fire drills we'd be in violation. They're
mandated by the Board and the Fire department," Bob's response was genial.
"In violation? I'll tell you what's in violation: the filthy classrooms we have to
work in for a start. The custodial staff is responsible for cleaning classrooms
once we leave the building. It positively enrages me to have to return to a
classroom that has been half-cleaned, because there's some clause in their
contract that says they're supposed to pick up garbage from the floors, not from
student desks, not from the lockers. Soda cans left on the desk, they don't
remove. That's what's in violation. I feel personally violated every time I enter
my classroom."
Hannah Jobity spoke in a slow, aggrieved tone. She insisted on answers. Usually
Bob Darling allowed her time to restate the problem; then he asked for a little
patience.
"But getting back to my point," she pressed on,"we've never had a serious fire
here, thank heavens. And what makes it worse is, you still haven't solved the
problem of the fire alarm going off every day of our lives. I mean, we've had
three false alarms this week. With the fire trucks arriving and everything."
"Hannah, we're working with Security on that."
"Why can't you just switch the system off?"
"We can't do that. That would be a very serious violation," Bob said.
"The last time we had this meeting you told us you were close to capturing the
perpetrator. Evidently you haven't found him because we're still having these
alarms going off."
And Bob Darling, who'd been counting the number of exchanges between them,
now felt the point had been made and duly noted. He waited for the grumbling
and the chatter to swell to unacceptable levels before shouting in the micro-
phone that it was getting late, there were other items on the agenda.
This apparent sidelining of contentious issues didn't always succeed for Hannah
Jobity had an ally in Mrs. Haliburton, always sensitive to the ebb and flow of
controversy, and the marginalizing of minority opinion.
"I think Mrs. Jobity is making an important point we need to address," she'd say,
shouting from the back of the room above the chatter. Which brought a hush to
the assembly since no one wanted to offend Mrs. Haliburton (wearing a new
African-style hat) with muttered talk that implied she had nothing of impor-
tance to say.
At the table where he sat Radix once overheard the following exchange:
– Have you noticed… when she gets up to speak, she's always doing
something menial with her hands…like peeling an orange?
- What d'you mean?
– Look, there in her hand. She's always peeling an orange when she starts
talking at these meetings.
- So.
– Well, it's kind of weird. I mean, is there something symbolic about an
orange? What, is she trying to make a statement or something? Every
meeting, I swear, she does this. I mean, she's already making a point with the
hat.
– I like the hat. It's a nice hat.
– Yeah, right! If it's so nice, why don't you buy one for your wife?
– Aw, c'mon Mary Jane! You need to lighten up.
- I need to lighten up! Look who's talking.
(from "Ah Mikhail, O Fidel!" a novel by N.D.Williams, 2001)
FARJOURNEY CARIBBEAN 